Self-Concept and Identity
Our self-concept and Identity shape how we show up in relationships—what we expect, what we tolerate, and how we see ourselves through our own eyes and through the eyes of others.
What is self-concept?
Self-concept is the internal picture we hold of who we are—our traits, strengths, weaknesses, values, and roles. It answers the question: “What kind of person am I?” It’s shaped by our relationships, environment, and experiences, especially in early life.
What is identity?
The external and internal roles, labels, values, and beliefs that help define who you are. Identity includes self-concept as well as things like gender, culture, beliefs, career, personality traits, interests, and affiliations. It is also heavily influenced by how you believe others see you.
Identity feels more public-facing and has social and contextual layers; self-concept is more internal.
How do Self-Concept and Identity Develop?
They begin forming in childhood through mirroring, attachment, and how we are treated by caregivers. Were we accepted? Rejected? Free to explore? Shamed for having needs or being different? Those early experiences teach us not just who we are—but who we’re allowed to be.
Over time, identity can solidify or shift based on life experiences, relationships, trauma, healing, and autonomy. Some people develop a strong, coherent sense of self, while others stay fragmented, reactive, or overly shaped by external feedback.