You're not making your relationship decisions—your nervous system is.
Learn how it hijacks your reactions before you even know what you're reacting to.
Some unhealthy relationships are abusive. Many are not.
All of them are harmful.
Here’s what most people don’t realize:
Recognizing harmful dynamics takes more than memorizing a list of ‘red flags’.
Knowing what manipulation looks like is helpful, but it’s not enough.
Because manipulation is not seen.
It’s felt.
To recognize unhealthy or harmful behavior, you have to know what it feels like and how to interpret those feelings in the context of your past experiences..
So how does this work?
This is an incredibly complicated topic. It's counterintuitive, often contradictory, and brings up a lot of conflicting emotions.
Just figuring out where to start can feel discouraging.
To help you get started, I’ve created 5 unique Journeys through UNRAVEL, shown below. Each offers insights, language, and tools to help you make sense of your story
I also invited my friends Bob & Sally to come along. They’re fictional, but their struggles are real. You’ll see them throughout the site, bringing relatable examples and emotional clarity.
UNRAVEL was built as a learning system. It’s something you move through, not just read. Each Journey shows you what your nervous system is doing, and why it feels the way it does.
UNRAVEL Journeys
Journey 2: My relationship might be controlling or abusive
Journey 4: I want to understand my own patterns
*This is not therapy or a substitute for it. The information here is for educational purposes only. Every situation is unique, and not everything may apply to you. Still, many patterns are widely shared, and learning about them can be a powerful first step.
Trauma isn’t neat and tidy. Healing isn’t linear or clean. The journey can be long, difficult & painful at times, but I promise you, it will be worth it.
If your relationship is actively harming you, use these tools to gain validation and clarity, but consider reaching out to someone you trust, a professional, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.