Is My Relationship Healthy?
Most of these questions don't have obvious right answers and that's the point. Everything happens on a spectrum. A 'no' doesn't automatically mean your relationship is unhealthy, and a 'yes' doesn't mean everything is fine. But if you find yourself hesitating on a lot of these, that's worth paying attention to.
Do I feel safe? (Emotionally and physically)
Are my boundaries consistently respected?
Can I express my feelings without ridicule or backlash?
Did the relationship develop naturally over time rather than feeling rushed or overly intense?
Do I genuinely trust them or do I just want to trust them?
Do we usually repair things openly and respectfully after conflict?
Do they act with integrity? (Accountability, honesty, actions match words, apologies include changed behavior) Do I?
Have I stayed connected to myself and what matters to me outside of the relationship (my values, hobbies, goals, friends, family, etc.)?
Do they generally treat me with kindness and respect, rather than putting me down, insulting me, or making me feel small?
Do I actually like this person for who they are? Do I like who I’ve become since starting this relationship?
Am I willing to walk away if they mistreat me and it becomes unhealthy or harmful?
Would I choose myself over my fear of being alone, starting over, disappointing others, or feeling like I failed?