What am I dealing with?
If you’re here, something about your relationship probably feels off and you’re trying to figure out why.
Maybe you know something is wrong and you’re trying to sort it out.
Maybe nothing is obviously bad, but something doesn’t feel right.
Or maybe you’re so confused you don’t even know where to start.
Whether you’re trying to understand how you’ve been feeling, your partner’s behavior, or both, you’re in the right place. Here you can find words for what’s been happening and get answers to the questions you keep coming back to.
Each section below covers a different kind of relationship confusion people often get stuck in. Open any section to find a list of the most commonly asked questions and clear answers for each.
Is This Normal ?
You keep wondering if this is just what relationships are like. You’ve brushed things off and told yourself no relationship is perfect. But something still doesn’t feel right. You wonder sometimes if you’re the problem or it’s all in your head.
Why Do I Feel This Way?
Maybe you feel anxious, confused, on edge, or like you have to walk on eggshells. You constantly second-guessing yourself. Or maybe you just feel like something is off. You know love isn’t supposed to feel like this. So why does it?
Why Do They Say Hurtful Things?
You can’t understand why they can be so hurtful sometimes. When you tell them they’ve hurt you, they somehow make it your fault. How can someone who loves you treat you this way?
What Does Their Behavior Mean?
They can shift between warm and tender affection to cold and cruel distance. Sometimes their reactions feel out of proportion or hard to predict. They pick fights that don’t make sense and pull away when you most want to talk.
Nothing is wrong, so why don’t things feel right?
There’s no obvious issue. They treat you fairly well and their behavior isn’t hurtful. Still, something feels off. Something is missing. You have a good relationship, so why don’t you feel happier?
What Will Happen If I Leave? Stay?
Part of you knows this isn’t healthy, but leaving feels impossible. You’re scared to lose them and afraid of what would happen if you left. But you don’t want things to stay as they are. Neither option feels safe.
If you don’t find the question(s) you’re trying to answer, please email me the question(s). I will do my best to give you an answer, and if it makes sense, I can add it to the appropriate list. Make the subject line “Start Here Questions”